He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
