I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
