yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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