Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
birth control should be required to get into college
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
