we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
