Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
