I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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