just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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