She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
