no, he came in my armpit
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
