so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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