So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
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Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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