What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
