fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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