I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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