come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
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I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
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I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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