i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
