I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
