I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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