laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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