Porn is love you can see.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
