Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
