Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
