Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
