I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
