No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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