Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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