did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize