This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
