Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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