Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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