I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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