Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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