people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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