There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
