The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
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I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
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Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize