Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
