i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
