She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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