Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
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