you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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