Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
