Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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