We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
