i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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