OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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