there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
