just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
