You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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