He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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