4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
In the future we'll all be gay
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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