This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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