Yo dont text me then not text me
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
