I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
