At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
