As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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