he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Randomize
