Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize