With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
