So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We need a shit load of segways right now
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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