I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
