You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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