The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
