everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
