Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
