that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
God, I missed his penis.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
